Texting. Its my drug of choice.

There are different levels of texting, and because I am so generous, considerate and bored (mainly its because I'm bored...) I have compiled a quiz of sorts to help decide your level of texting.

The first level of texting is what I call an Unresponsive Texter. I'm sure you know these people well. You probably avoid texting them at all costs. Unresponsive texters don't respond to most text messages (shocking, I know. The title didn't give that one away at all). Sometimes instead of texting you back, they call you. Not only is this incredibly obnoxious, but it completely defeats the purpose of a text message.

The second level is known as a Abbreviated Texter. I don't mean they shorten their words using abbreviations.....patience. I know that's what it sounds like I'm saying, but its not. These texters are extreme. Usually their responses are only one or two words and its like solving a puzzle to figure out what they're saying. I know this level well, as I am married to an abbreviated texter. I could text him a short novel, explaining to him in detail (because that's the only way I tell stories....even in texts. Great detail) of my horrible day and what a ruckus its been. His answer would read something like "sucks hot 3". Translation: "That sucks. Its hot out. Be home at 3." See? Abbreviated Texters are difficult.

The third level of texting is called the Commonplace Texter. Its just as it sounds. Average, ordinary, normal texter. You text them and they respond with an appropriate answer. No need for decoding or puzzle solving and they don't call you. This is the best kind of texter. If you strive for anything in life, it should be to become a Commonplace Texter.

The fourth and last level (and the level that I unfortunately fall under) is called the Incessant Texter. This is the texter that never leaves you alone. They use their text messages like status updates. This kind of texter usually has a "go-to texter". Meaning, they text (annoy) the same person on a regular basis. You hear a catchy new song that you like. What do you do? You text your go-to texter and tell them of said catchy new song. You just did something hilarious that no one witnessed. You have to tell someone. You text your go-to texter. You made up a new word that you think could make you famous. You text your go-to texter. I would like to take this time to formally apologize to my go-to texter. This isn't what I wanted to become and I'm not even sure how I got here. I'm so ashamed.

So, what kind of texter are you? What kind of texter do you hope to become someday? This is about goals and aspirations, people. Its serious.

*I made all of this up. These aren't real.*

The Things We Do To Save A Dollar...

I'm always looking for ways to save a buck to two. I consider myself to be a pretty cheap person. I dislike spending large amounts of money on things that I could get for cheaper....or better yet on things I could make myself. I am not a crafty person, but I pretend to be. I make all my own wreaths for my front door, I make my daughter hair bows, I weave my own baskets...ok so I don't weave my own baskets, but I try to be resourceful by buying them at garage sales.

Tonight I thought it would be a grand idea to cut my one year old son's hair. Not only will this save me $15.00 but it will save me the trip of taking him out to get it done. I cut my daughter's hair all the time, so this should be a cinch. Hmmmmm. Turns out cutting little boys hair is slightly different than girl's. At first I wet it down and cut it straight across the front giving him these nice girlish bangs. When I realized my error, I tried to mask it by cutting down by his ears giving it a nice blended swoop into the bangs. I don't need to tell you how much worse this made it. Being the person I am, I was laughing so hard I was crying when my husband came in and saw my efforts. He said "ohhhh my gosh he looks like Jebidiah". I know I can say this without offending anyone because the Amish don't have the Internet. By this point, I'd done one side so I needed to at least make it even and do the other side. Then my genius of a husband suggested I use the hair clippers. By george, why didn't I think of that?! I know why...because I'm a girl who knows NOTHING about cutting little boy's hair. Surely, I can fix it with the clippers! After all, the boy has his one year old pictures and his birthday party this weekend so we must make thist right. He can't look Amish for that.....However, we are having a cowboy themed party, so maybe it wouldn't be so bad??

Anyway, after a few minutes with the clippers it was actually looking pretty good. I was beginning to breathe a sigh of relief when "buzzzzzzz" I cut a rather large chunk of hair on the top of his head leaving a bald spot. Apparently, the mental high five I was giving myself was a moment too soon. Obviously, there is no covering up his bald spot. I put some gel in his hair and attempted a comb over. Now he looks like a 75 year old Jebidiah.

Pre-comb over.

Moral of the story? Next time I won't cut his hair right before a big event. You thought I was going to say I will just spend the $15.00 to have it cut, didn't you? No.....

Tis The Season.......For Garage Sales!

I have decided to compile a list of things you should know when having a garage sale. There is much more to such an event than one might think.

1.) Decide if you have enough items to have a sale. One table of fifteen year old Christmas knick knacks will not qualify. Evaulate your merchandise carefully. Ask yourself "Self, is this item I no longer have a use for capable of being someone else's treasure?". Half used shampoo bottles are not capable of being treasure. I want to be clear on that. "Sell your stuff, not your trash".

2.) Spend hours upon hours marking your items with price tags so that each and every shopper can ignorantly ask you what your asking price is. If you are having a garage sale to get rich, you probably won't. Garage sale shoppers are bargain hunting. If you're overpriced, they will move on....or go to Walmart.

3.) Adverstisement. Please, oh please take the time to put out proper signage. If you live on the last street in a thirty street neighborhood you will need to.....wait......listen.......put a sign at EVERY intersection. You cannot put one sign at the first street and pray that every shopper miraculously finds your sale.

Use big bold letters when making your signs. Do not attempt to squeeze in every detail of your sale on a sheet of construction paper. Two words "garage sale" and an arrow. Thats it. I gotta be honest. If you can't manage that, then you are not garage sale material.

4.) This is important so really take this one in. Be friendly with your shoppers without engaging in conversation. Some garage shoppers have a unique desire to want to share their entire life story with anyone willing to listen. If you find yourself cornered by a shopper and they begin with their "stories" do not....I repeat....do not appear interested. Swat invisible flies, pretend you're getting a text, fake a coughing spell or asthma attack. Do what you can to flee the situation immediately. Engaging in their stories will bore you to tears, probably freak you out and could potentially lose you other sales.

5.) When deciding on a date and time for your sale you need to be aware that the more dedicated shoppers will show up a half hour earlier than your specified time. Be sure to be punctual. If you advertise your sale to begin at 8:00 am, do not begin your set up at 7:59.....in your jammies. Get up early, shower and look presentable for crying out loud.

There you have it. I hope you find this list helpful while you plan your blessed event.